I was browsing a local car marketplace when it hit me - my desires are fake. They did not occur within me naturally. They were inserted into my brain, against my will and without my knowledge, with a carefully crafted attack by a billion-dollar algorithm. No wonder - I was spending hours each day unknowingly subjecting myself to cognitive warfare in the attention arena called Twitter, Instagram, Reddit and YouTube. My desires were fake, and I was angry.
I decided to unplug. Delete Instagram, delete Twitter, delete Reddit and delete YouTube. This helped - for a bit. Then the craving came back with a revenge. Starved of dopamine, yearning for that 15-second cycle. What's the next reel gonna be? What about the next one? Better check, just in case. Wouldn't wanna miss that crucial information that will finally put me at ease. But it never came. I was stuck in a different cycle - deleting the apps, then relapsing a few days later to a primitive habit, my prefrontal cortex entirely shut down.
This was no good. Why was I checking Instagram. Oh right - to not miss anything. But what is there to miss? Nothing. Instagram has no value to me whatsoever. It's a terrible messaging app. Reels are useless. Stories of friends? Those I care about - and those who care back - stay in touch regardless, even in the absence of my likes and hearts. I decided to conduct an experiment - don't open Instagram for a week, and see what happens.
And nothing happened. I missed nothing of importance. This brought me immense relief, and allowed me to keep IG uninstalled.
The other apps were tougher - I certainly derived some value out of YouTube - music was my main usecase. So I installed a modified version of the iOS app, where reels, Trends and other bait were removed. This worked perfectly. Similar for Reddit, I installed Apollo, and set it to only display subreddits I'm part of and care about. The last one standing was Twitter - it was mostly noise. But I dilligently pressed "Not interested", followed positive accounts, like startup founders, AI companies and people that inspired me. And I turned my timeline into my personal inspiration hub. Instead of doomscrolling, I only spent about 15 minutes per session, and left feeling hopeful, optimistic and ready to build the future.
With the main source of fake desires gone, I looked at the others - what other goals in my life were impostors? One I was struggling with was a burning feeling of poverty. Ironic, but very real for me back then, was an urgency to buy, everything, now. And by everything, I meant a house, a car, some land. But why? I didn't need any of that. A house provides safety, but also ties one down to a place. I certainly didn't need a house, any more than I needed a Porsche. In the end, I realized that I needed completely different things - and I lacked most of them. That's why I was unhappy. I was missing something, but now I knew what it really was. I defused my fake desires, and turned my attention to the real ones, that I neglected for so long. And suddenly, my life started feeling magical again. Time slowed down. I was present and happy. I restarted my creative hobbies, and rediscovered why I am alive again.
The secret to having it all is knowing that you do.